Original Broadway Cast, 2019 (Warner Bros. Records) (2 / 5) For many people, Cher — pop goddess, ageless wonder, beloved survivor in gold lamé — is more than an icon, she’s practically part of our collective DNA. Hearing “Dark Lady,” “Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves,” or “Believe” for the millionth time can instantly transport us to happy moments in our past and remind us why Cher still feels like part of the soundtrack of our lives. What better way to celebrate this living legend than with a glitzy jukebox musical boasting dozens of songs from her six-decade catalogue, a chorus of muscular boys, and a parade of fabulous costumes by Bob Mackie, one of the most influential collaborators of her career? Less a musical and more a rhinestone-studded spectacle, the clumsily-titled The Cher Show on stage was a bumpy, over-the-top pageant of her life, extraordinary career, and wardrobe. Stripped of the Broadway production’s lavish threads and dramatically flat libretto, the cast recording plays as a decent, if shallow, retrospective. Three performers embody Cher at different ages: Micaela Diamond (in an auspicious Broadway debut) and Teal Wicks portray her as a teenager and a young woman, respectively. But Stephanie J. Block, who won a Tony Award for her role as the mature “Star” version of Cher, owns the album, doing most of the heavy belting. The vocal work from all three is sometimes better than the original’s, yet convincing enough to make one realize how much we take Cher’s actual soaring contralto for granted. Unsurprisingly, the lesser-known tracks — for example,  “Living in a House Divided” — are the most interesting. As is the case with many bio-musicals, narrative shoehorning abounds here, most egregiously in the opening number, “If I Could Turn Back Time,” the lyrics of which (save for the first two lines) cheerfully contradict the plot to come. There are flashes of invention in the show, such as the repurposing of “The Beat Goes On” as a breezy review of Cher’s film career; but, of course, none of the songs were written to shoulder a narrative musical’s dramatic load, leaving us with a somewhat wobbly stroll down memory lane. In the role of Cher’s early-career collaborator, husband, and manipulator, Jarrod Spector is uncanny as Sonny Bono, nailing that famously nasal vocal sound even as he makes you wish Sonny had actually sung this well. Similarly, Emily Skinner’s strong-voiced cameo as Lucille Ball will amuse anyone who has suffered through the Mame soundtrack. As a whirlwind tour through Cher’s roller-coaster life and chart-topping hits, this album is a bright, campy listen powered by a vocally dexterous cast, but it still feels a bit like one of those late-night infomercial pop collections: slickly packaged and full of promise, only for you to realize as you listen that it’s all covers, and what you really wanted was…the real thing. — Mark Robinson